Craig Silverman, December 16, 2008 at 11:04 AM EST [posted this brilliant observation at glodeandmail.com website and confirms my infidelity advice.]
http://business.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20081216.WBtheoffice20081216110423/WBStory/WBtheoffice
Imagine for a moment that this isn't the Year of the Cancelled or Scaled-Back Office Party. Great news, right? Not according to some experts. Granted, embarrassing things happen at the office holiday party: bad dancing, drunken colleagues, make-out sessions etc.
But a couple of experts want you to view the gathering as a breeding ground for sinister behaviour.
Take it away “infidelity expert” Ruth Houston, author of Is He Cheating on You? – 829 Telltale Signs: The annual Christmas party is prime time for a work spouse relationship to make the transition to a workplace affair.
Fortified by a few drinks, one work spouse may say or do something to their work husband or work wife that could lay the groundwork for taking their work spouse relationship to the next level. Your presence at your spouse or significant other's office Christmas party could keep their work spouse relationship from turning into a workplace affair …If you suspect your spouse or significant other of being romantically involved with someone at work, make sure you accompany the suspected cheater to the annual Christmas party at his or her job.
Since company Christmas parties have a way of exposing workplace affairs, this is the best way to find out if what you suspect is true. Attend the festivities with the suspected cheater and you're sure to find out.Observing the suspected cheater interact with his or her opposite sex co-workers in a social setting like the office Christmas party will either confirm your suspicions, or set your mind at ease. If he or she is romantically involved with someone they work with, their behavior and body language around each other will give them away, even in little ways. But knowing what to look for is the key.If you want to receive a free tip sheet about what to look for, you can e-mail mailto:mitchellreports@bellsouth.net with "What to Look For – b1" in the subject line. That'll ensure you enjoy yourself at the party.
Next we go from infidelity to sexual harassment.
Here's some advice from Gayla Crain, founding shareholder of law firm Spencer Crain Cubbage Healy & McNamara: It is not uncommon for some employees to forget their office behavior standards at company holiday parties. In a social setting, an employee may feel more at ease in pursuing another employee in a personal, romantic manner. Making matters worse is that, as a 2006 survey of HR professionals by the Society for Human Resource Management showed, an estimated 70% of respondents said that drinking is accepted at their organizations' holiday parties.
Employers receiving any complaints of inappropriate behavior at the holiday party should take such complaints seriously and should take prompt, effective steps to address the complaint. This is particularly true if someone complains during the party or if a witness reports an inappropriate incident during the party. The bottom line is that an effective complaint procedure, if properly drafted and implemented, can be extremely valuable in defending against sex harassment charges – no matter what happens at the office party.”
At the risk of making it seem as though I'm trivializing these issues – and let me say that they are serious – I'll point out the fact that this advice is issued in press releases aimed at raising the profile of the experts. There's an element of self-interest here.
So, all that to say that if you're lucky enough to get a company holiday party this year, heed some timeless advice: don't drink too much, don't try to make out with anybody, and don't drive drunk.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Infidelity Discovered? 10 Ways to Calm Your Powerful Feelings
Infidelity Discovered? 10 Ways to Calm Your Powerful Feelings
by Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach
When you find out about the affair, the first few hours, days and weeks can be emotionally wrenching to say the least. Or, if someone you deeply care about begins "pulling away" you may also experience intense feelings. Read through this list and pick out a couple things you can do to help yourself during these times.
1. Walk. Run, if you are fit enough to run. Work out. Get the blood flowing. Physical exercise drains off the adrenaline and physically you feel better. You also think better of yourself because you are caring for you.
2. Talk. If you typically handle problems by talking them out, find someone who will listen as you pour out your heart. Give them explicit instructions: "I need to talk, vent, cry, rage, and question. Just look me in the eye, nod your head and listen."
3. Write. Get a kitchen timer. Set it for 5 minutes. Spend that time writing...anything, everything that comes to your mind. Don't censor. When the bell goes off say to yourself, "OK, there it is. Now I need to get on to other things. I will come back later and write more." Put the writing in a safe place or destroy it.
4. Find a safe place and spend some time there. Do you have a favorite lake, wooded area, park, room, chair where you feel safe and can "get away." Intentionally spend some time there.
5. Use good "self talk." Tell yourself, "You are ok. You will be ok. This too shall pass. What you are feeling is normal and will not destroy you." Develop that "observing part" that can speak to your turmoil.
6. Pray. Meditate. Use your spiritual resources, if you have them. If you don't have them, it can be a good time to develop them. Spirituality often affirms your worth and enables you to see the larger picture.
7. Be aware. Notice what you are thinking, how you are feeling and what you are doing. Pay close attention to these chunks of your life. Just noticing often creates distance from the emotional pain.
8. Encourage the rhythm of your feelings. Your feelings will come and go, often as in waves. There will be lulls and sometimes they crash. Notice the intensity and frequency of the waves.
9. Get professional help. Supportive therapy might be helpful. Personal and professional coaching, often via telephone, is a helpful phenomenon that is increasingly popular as a way to find support and direction for specific problems.
10. Gather resources. Start reading, exploring the internet and talking to people about your situation. Believe me, you are not alone. Many people have walked your path (well, not exactly your path, but close) and are there to offer their understanding and point out the bends and turns of your road.
Learn how NOT to blow it. Clear your mind! Get Relief! Sign up now for Dr. Huizenga's Free E-course...
saying "I love you"
That prolong the affair and your misery Sign up Now! http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com/privacy.htm"> |
Once you receive his thought provoking resources you can visit his sites at: www.break-free-from-the-affair.com and his blog at
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Adultery: Statistics on Cheating Spouses
Adultery statistics are hard to come by, especially honest and controlled statistics. According to the electronic article “Adultery: Statistics on Cheating Spouses,” published by Eagle’s Nest Publications, “60-70 percent of adultery victims are women” while “30-40 percent of adultery victims are men.” Adultery is usually one of the top reasons cited for divorce and with modern technology and readily available sex partners, it doesn’t seem like this trend will slow any time soon.
The definition of adultery is consensual sexual intercourse with a partner that is not your husband or wife. According to the 2003 United Nations World Fertility Reports, 89% of all women and men get married by the age of 49. However, not all marriages follow the monogamy rule. Anthropological studies have reported that 80-85% of societies allowed polygamous marriage. It is a well-known fact that the early Mormons practiced Polygamy. However, most men in societies are not able to afford multiple wives so the average societal marriage involves one man and one woman.
Adultery stories have been a part of history since the beginning of time. Adultery is clearly forbidden in the seventh commandment of the Ten Commandments and is punishable by death. Jesus preached it was a sin. However, in the past, only a married woman engaging in sex with another man counted as adultery in which case both the woman and the man were considered guilty. Nevertheless, this attitude has spread to married men who are now looked down upon and may be punished by laws if they cheat on their wives.In some cultures, the punishment for adultery results in the death penalty, some penalties being as brutal has stoning the guilty party to death.
In various countries adultery is illegal and in the United States adultery laws vary from state to state.When a person files for divorce on the grounds of adultery, they must provide as much proof as possible to prove the validity of the affair. If the divorce is contested, then it is up to the accusing party to provide dates, times and any other admissible evidence.Adultery can affect the negotiation of the divorce process by setting off hurt, anger and resentment. Infidelity most affects divorce in the negotiation process.
Rarely does infidelity fail to set off negative and painful emotions from the cheated on party.Unfortunately, adultery seems to be a part of our society. Whether we decide to partake in it or work on trying to keep it out of our lives, it is a personal decision we choose and we must live with the consequences.
Written by Stephany Alexander, http://www.womansavers.com/ ©* All break up and relationship articles are the property of their owners. © All WomanSavers relationship articles are copyright of the individual authors, unless specified.
http://www.WomanSavers.com is not responsible or liable for the accuracy and/or content of the women's relationship and break up articles displayed on this site. Submitted relationship articles for women to be included, but not limited, to the categories of: relationship articles, break up articles, abuse articles, cheating statistics, dating advice articles, divorce articles, gender difference studies, healthy relationship articles, internet cheating articles, marriage articles, medical articles, men's advice for women, men's relationship articles, miscellaneous articles, relationship news articles, rape statistics articles, sex articles, sex laws, sexual infidelity articles, single women articles, surviving infidelity articles, websites that help cheaters, women over 40.
taken from this website;
http://www.womansavers.com/adultery.asp
The definition of adultery is consensual sexual intercourse with a partner that is not your husband or wife. According to the 2003 United Nations World Fertility Reports, 89% of all women and men get married by the age of 49. However, not all marriages follow the monogamy rule. Anthropological studies have reported that 80-85% of societies allowed polygamous marriage. It is a well-known fact that the early Mormons practiced Polygamy. However, most men in societies are not able to afford multiple wives so the average societal marriage involves one man and one woman.
Adultery stories have been a part of history since the beginning of time. Adultery is clearly forbidden in the seventh commandment of the Ten Commandments and is punishable by death. Jesus preached it was a sin. However, in the past, only a married woman engaging in sex with another man counted as adultery in which case both the woman and the man were considered guilty. Nevertheless, this attitude has spread to married men who are now looked down upon and may be punished by laws if they cheat on their wives.In some cultures, the punishment for adultery results in the death penalty, some penalties being as brutal has stoning the guilty party to death.
In various countries adultery is illegal and in the United States adultery laws vary from state to state.When a person files for divorce on the grounds of adultery, they must provide as much proof as possible to prove the validity of the affair. If the divorce is contested, then it is up to the accusing party to provide dates, times and any other admissible evidence.Adultery can affect the negotiation of the divorce process by setting off hurt, anger and resentment. Infidelity most affects divorce in the negotiation process.
Rarely does infidelity fail to set off negative and painful emotions from the cheated on party.Unfortunately, adultery seems to be a part of our society. Whether we decide to partake in it or work on trying to keep it out of our lives, it is a personal decision we choose and we must live with the consequences.
Written by Stephany Alexander, http://www.womansavers.com/ ©* All break up and relationship articles are the property of their owners. © All WomanSavers relationship articles are copyright of the individual authors, unless specified.
http://www.WomanSavers.com is not responsible or liable for the accuracy and/or content of the women's relationship and break up articles displayed on this site. Submitted relationship articles for women to be included, but not limited, to the categories of: relationship articles, break up articles, abuse articles, cheating statistics, dating advice articles, divorce articles, gender difference studies, healthy relationship articles, internet cheating articles, marriage articles, medical articles, men's advice for women, men's relationship articles, miscellaneous articles, relationship news articles, rape statistics articles, sex articles, sex laws, sexual infidelity articles, single women articles, surviving infidelity articles, websites that help cheaters, women over 40.
taken from this website;
http://www.womansavers.com/adultery.asp
Suspicious He May Be Cheating? Read This Book!
Kristen HoughtonRelationship Examiner
Kristen Houghton is an award-winning writer whose work has been called, "fresh, insightful, sharp, and sexy-funny! She is a contributing relationship expert for Public Radio. Excerpts from her new book, And Then I'll Be Happy! can be found at http://kristenhoughton.com/
August 8, 9:50 AM
by Kristen Houghton, Relationship Examiner
If you have any suspicion at all that your spouse is cheating, you need to read the book, “The More You Know” by Bill Mitchell.
For your sanity’s sake-You need to read it now!
“The More You Know” is a must read for anyone who is paralyzed by the fear infidelity has brought to their lives. It is also a great read for anyone who advises on relationships such as clergy, therapists, or lawyers. As a relationship writer and speaker, I found the information in the book to be invaluable for my work.
“The More You Know” leads you through your suspicions and your fears in a step by step, easy to read, practical, down-to-earth manner. There is nothing you are experiencing that isn’t covered in this book. It gives clear, much needed advice at a time when you are unable to think clearly and rationally.
My favorite chapter is titled, “Where It All Begins.” Bill covers, in detail, each and every instance of where, and how, cheating spouses and ‘the other woman’ meet.
When I interviewed Bill Mitchell for this article, I was struck by how easy it was to talk to him. His voice is one of competence and compassion, instilling confidence in his listener. He’s upfront and positive; the type of man you wish you had for a brother or a good male confidante.
And you can top those qualities off with good looks. One of my friends, looking at his picture on the book cover, declared him, “oh so hot.” (Sorry, ladies, he and his wife Linda, are happily married for twenty-three years).
Mr. Mitchell’s list of guest appearances on shows is impressive. He has appeared on “The Dr. Phil Show” for a segment on why men cheat, NBC’s “The Today Show” with Matt Lauer, in a piece titled “Unfaithfully Yours,” and “The Early Show” on CBS. His expertise in the business of private investigation is unparalleled.
I highly recommend “The More You Know” by Bill Mitchell. Even if you aren’t suspicious about your husband, wife, or significent other, it is an excellent reading foray into the age old art of cheating that anyone will find interesting.
See Your Relationship Examiner Recommends for more information on private investigator, Bill Mitchell.
Copyright ©2008 by Kristen Houghton. All rights reserved.
Editorial Reviews
Review
"Anyone who may benefit from proving adultery in divorce court should read this book and hire a private eye!" -- Robin Roshkind, Equire - Divorce Lawyer, Palm Beach, FL
"Bill Mitchell's uses his background as a detective to give you this gift." -- Dr. Robert Huizenga author of
"Bill Mitchell’s book is on the money. It’s credible, accurate and very much for real." -- —J. Richard Kulerski, Attorney at Law, Oak Brook, IL
"Bill is one of the most outstanding investigators in America. This book furnishes knowledge beyond just those experiencing this dilemma." -- Ted Gunderson, Sr. Special Agent in Charge of Los Angeles-FBI retired, author "How to locate anyone without leaving home", lecturer and journalist, Beverly Hills, California, September 10, 2004
"Bill uses his background as a detective to give you this gift." -- Dr. Robert Huizenga, July 3, 2004
"Doubts about your spouse's fidelity and want answers quickly, this book gives you good, practical advice to get proof." -- Arlene F. Harder, MA, MFT, Support4Change, Altadena, CA
"I recommend this book to my clients who suspect their spouse of infidelity." -- Harvey C. Shapiro, Equire - Binghamton, NY
"If you want to know how to get the evidence you want to check out The More You Know." -- June Safty Odegard, LCPC, Relationship Pre-Engagement Strategist—www.junesaftyodegard.com
"This book is a help to everyone in their everyday lives. It furnishes knowledge beyond just those experiencing this dilemma." -- Ted Gunderson, Sr. Special Agent in Charge of LA FBI -retired
We recommend The More You Know to determine if your spouse is having an affair" -- —Gitlin, Haaff & Kasper, Woodstock, Il
"Anyone who may benefit from proving adultery in divorce court should read this book and hire a private eye!" -- Robin Roshkind, Equire - Divorce Lawyer, Palm Beach, FL
"Bill Mitchell's uses his background as a detective to give you this gift." -- Dr. Robert Huizenga author of
"Bill Mitchell’s book is on the money. It’s credible, accurate and very much for real." -- —J. Richard Kulerski, Attorney at Law, Oak Brook, IL
"Bill is one of the most outstanding investigators in America. This book furnishes knowledge beyond just those experiencing this dilemma." -- Ted Gunderson, Sr. Special Agent in Charge of Los Angeles-FBI retired, author "How to locate anyone without leaving home", lecturer and journalist, Beverly Hills, California, September 10, 2004
"Bill uses his background as a detective to give you this gift." -- Dr. Robert Huizenga, July 3, 2004
"Doubts about your spouse's fidelity and want answers quickly, this book gives you good, practical advice to get proof." -- Arlene F. Harder, MA, MFT, Support4Change, Altadena, CA
"I recommend this book to my clients who suspect their spouse of infidelity." -- Harvey C. Shapiro, Equire - Binghamton, NY
"If you want to know how to get the evidence you want to check out The More You Know." -- June Safty Odegard, LCPC, Relationship Pre-Engagement Strategist—www.junesaftyodegard.com
"This book is a help to everyone in their everyday lives. It furnishes knowledge beyond just those experiencing this dilemma." -- Ted Gunderson, Sr. Special Agent in Charge of LA FBI -retired
We recommend The More You Know to determine if your spouse is having an affair" -- —Gitlin, Haaff & Kasper, Woodstock, Il
Friday, November 21, 2008
Cheating Could Be Killing You
Cheating not only destroys the relationship you thought you had, and makes you feel used, abused and thrown away. You're probably feeling that way right now, and you don't even know for sure yet whether it's really going on.
What's devastating about cheating is that it also:
Kills your happiness
Causes depression and anxiety
Wreaks havoc with your appetite and sleep patterns
Makes you feel like you're an ugly, or can't measure up in the bedroom
Exposes you to much higher risk of sexually transmitted disease
All of that because your partner is being selfish and cruel. Cheating obviously isn't a "harmless" game. It's harming you.
The only way to stop it is to know, once and for all, if it's really going on so you can put a cold, hard halt to behavior that's robbing you of the life you should have.
Uncover The Truth And End The Misery NOW.
If somebody’s cheating on you, it’s THEIR fault for making that choice, and you can and should stop them. Affair Detector gives you the weapon you need:
Bill Mitchell, Private Investigator
7-Day Detective
http://www.7daydetective.com
What's devastating about cheating is that it also:
Kills your happiness
Causes depression and anxiety
Wreaks havoc with your appetite and sleep patterns
Makes you feel like you're an ugly, or can't measure up in the bedroom
Exposes you to much higher risk of sexually transmitted disease
All of that because your partner is being selfish and cruel. Cheating obviously isn't a "harmless" game. It's harming you.
The only way to stop it is to know, once and for all, if it's really going on so you can put a cold, hard halt to behavior that's robbing you of the life you should have.
Uncover The Truth And End The Misery NOW.
If somebody’s cheating on you, it’s THEIR fault for making that choice, and you can and should stop them. Affair Detector gives you the weapon you need:
Bill Mitchell, Private Investigator
7-Day Detective
http://www.7daydetective.com
Adultery Detector
Hi Friend:
Let me make one thing perfectly clear about somebody who’s cheating on you...
That person is treating you like dirt. They’re treating you like a dirty old sock they’d just as soon throw away.
That probably hurts to hear. Maybe you think they’re not that bad. You’re wrong. They are, and they prove it every time they sneak around on you.
You gave your life this person. You put your emotions in their hands. They said they loved you. And now they spit in your face by sneaking around and playing you for a fool.
It’s not hopeless, though, and you need to know that.
You CAN find out for sure if this is going on.
Once you know, you can either get yourself out of the situation with confidence, or you can confront your cheater, reconcile and have the happiness you deserve again.
That might seem like a tall order, but it’s not. In fact, it’s easy to do if have what amounts to a coach in your corner.
That coach is Affair Detector. It’s the best book ever written on how to nip cheating in the bud. You can get all the details about it here:
You can read the book for yourself, but let me shine some light on just one aspect of this for you.
Do you know the single biggest mistake people (especially women, unfortunately) make when they think somebody’s cheating on them?
They confront the person emotionally.
Gosh, we can all understand that, right?
Who wouldn’t be mad? Isn’t it RIGHT to be mad? Or sad, or at least bothered?
Sure it is, but you’ll shoot yourself in the foot if you confront somebody without the police detective’s best friend: cold hard evidence.
That’s what you need. Once you have it, you can PLAN your confrontation. You’ll still have emotions, but you can prepare for them, not be controlled by them.
The key is gathering the information you need, and then using it on YOUR terms.
That’s what Affair Detector shows you how to do. Things like:
* Find out who he’s been talking to, when, and for how long (you’ll be able to hack into cell phone records at will)
* Notice the signs every cheater leaves behind, and be sure if something’s going on (yes, you can KNOW)
* Track your partner’s computer use so you can see the tracks they leave behind while they conduct their cyber-affair
* Get inside their head and catch them at their game without them even know they’re confessing with every word they speak and every action they take
This is the most powerful individual espionage material on the planet. Using this will save you thousands of dollars you’d normally pay a private investigator. There’s no need when you can do it all yourself.
Remember, if somebody’s cheating on you, they’re telling you you’re not good enough. Are you going to settle for that? You shouldn’t.
If somebody’s cheating on you, it’s THEIR fault for making that choice, and you can and should stop them. Affair Detector gives you the weapon you need:
This is an easy-to-use and easy-to-understand eBook for average folks who want to stop a cheater. If that’s you, this is exactly what you want.
Isn’t it time the cheating was over? Isn’t it time your partner started showing you some respect? You bet it is!
Here’s to getting your life back,
Bill Mitchell, 7-Day Detective
Let me make one thing perfectly clear about somebody who’s cheating on you...
That person is treating you like dirt. They’re treating you like a dirty old sock they’d just as soon throw away.
That probably hurts to hear. Maybe you think they’re not that bad. You’re wrong. They are, and they prove it every time they sneak around on you.
You gave your life this person. You put your emotions in their hands. They said they loved you. And now they spit in your face by sneaking around and playing you for a fool.
It’s not hopeless, though, and you need to know that.
You CAN find out for sure if this is going on.
Once you know, you can either get yourself out of the situation with confidence, or you can confront your cheater, reconcile and have the happiness you deserve again.
That might seem like a tall order, but it’s not. In fact, it’s easy to do if have what amounts to a coach in your corner.
That coach is Affair Detector. It’s the best book ever written on how to nip cheating in the bud. You can get all the details about it here:
You can read the book for yourself, but let me shine some light on just one aspect of this for you.
Do you know the single biggest mistake people (especially women, unfortunately) make when they think somebody’s cheating on them?
They confront the person emotionally.
Gosh, we can all understand that, right?
Who wouldn’t be mad? Isn’t it RIGHT to be mad? Or sad, or at least bothered?
Sure it is, but you’ll shoot yourself in the foot if you confront somebody without the police detective’s best friend: cold hard evidence.
That’s what you need. Once you have it, you can PLAN your confrontation. You’ll still have emotions, but you can prepare for them, not be controlled by them.
The key is gathering the information you need, and then using it on YOUR terms.
That’s what Affair Detector shows you how to do. Things like:
* Find out who he’s been talking to, when, and for how long (you’ll be able to hack into cell phone records at will)
* Notice the signs every cheater leaves behind, and be sure if something’s going on (yes, you can KNOW)
* Track your partner’s computer use so you can see the tracks they leave behind while they conduct their cyber-affair
* Get inside their head and catch them at their game without them even know they’re confessing with every word they speak and every action they take
This is the most powerful individual espionage material on the planet. Using this will save you thousands of dollars you’d normally pay a private investigator. There’s no need when you can do it all yourself.
Remember, if somebody’s cheating on you, they’re telling you you’re not good enough. Are you going to settle for that? You shouldn’t.
If somebody’s cheating on you, it’s THEIR fault for making that choice, and you can and should stop them. Affair Detector gives you the weapon you need:
This is an easy-to-use and easy-to-understand eBook for average folks who want to stop a cheater. If that’s you, this is exactly what you want.
Isn’t it time the cheating was over? Isn’t it time your partner started showing you some respect? You bet it is!
Here’s to getting your life back,
Bill Mitchell, 7-Day Detective
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